To Procrastinate or Not to procrastinate…

I’ve been thinking about writing. Not just blogging. But Writing. 

Not to say that blogging isn’t writing, or that your not really a writer if you blog. Some of my favorite bloggers are some of the best writers I’ve read. (Although, I’m not really a great critic, I tend to love even some of the worst books, movies and music…)

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about writing my story. My life story. From my earliest memories, like the time I took scissors to my hair while my dad was supposed to be watching me, or the time I flipped myself over in a floaty in my Nina’s pool during the summer, to the hardest moments of my life, when my dad left, when my brother died, boys, friends. No matter what, I want to remember all of these things. I want my future husband to know what my life was like, I want my kids and grandkids and great grandkids to have something that will show what my life was about. 

Is that narcissistic? Well, too bad. This is my blog. 🙂

We’ll see. I’m also the WORST procrastinator ever, so I’ll probably never start. 🙂

Bucket list, anyone?

Jaded.

I’ve been thinking about some stuff. I’ve had some errant thoughts about it here and there, from time to time. But today it really hit me. I don’t have an answer for it. It’s just a realization. 

I’ve noticed that when I read books, when I watch movies, when I hear stories… I always, always expect the worse. I’m always waiting for the one mean character. The one who pretends he/she is nice and sweet but really is just playing the part. I’m always waiting for the person to find out that her/his loved one has died, or has some horrible illness, or turned into a horrible murderer. Why the heck do I do this?

This is when I KNOW that I need therapy. Have I been so horribly broken, disappointed, and hurt that I automatically look for the worst in everyone? Am I really that jaded? I certainly don’t want to be that way. 

And then…. what do I do with that? How do I fix that?

Again… no answers here. Just thoughts.